Langdon Malachi Skolfield

My mom pointed out that my followers needed and update.  She said "you're still waiting in the waiting room..." Haha.  I am pretty sure most of you know the ending to this story, but what the heck, it will be fun to write this part.

So you know a part of the story but here is the whole thing, with details that may give you chills....well almost.

We found out about the failed adoption on a Tuesday. Wednesday I called our agency to talk about where we go from here. During this conversation she told me about a potential mom that was due within a week or so in Virginia. She had not submitted any papers or met with anyone, but if that happened, she had us in mind as a potential match.  I did not mention it in the blog because it was so premature, it didn't feel real.

Five days later, on Monday, we received an email with information about the birth mom.  Tuesday we received a call that the baby a born.  It was suggested that I get there as soon as possible, with Emery to follow.  Unfortunately there were no flights to get me there quickly.  We packed up as fast as we could, picked up our son from school and hit the road.  Richmond, Virginia here we come.

My parents live near Raleigh, NC which is on the way up to Virginia. We decided to drop the boys off with them, and continue on.  We drove straight through and got to their house at about 2 am.  During the drive, we received a call from a counselor for the birth mom. She had been assigned our case and wanted to introduce herself.  Funny story though.  She recognized our last name and realized she knew it because she follows Emery on Instagram.  She has an adopted son and wanted to dread his hair, so searched certain hashtags and started following Emery.  She then texted me a picture of her son with dreads, inspired by our youngest.  So cool!  Example #1 of why I was not anxious about this falling through.

We spoke with the birth mom for a few minutes on the phone, to introduce ourselves.  We spoke about his name briefly and just about our family in general.  She was very sweet and we could not wait to meet her.

We put the boys to sleep at my parents, slept about an hour and half, got up and continued on to Richmond.  We got to the area about 7:30 and decided to have breakfast. Following breakfast, we drove to the hospital.  We went to the maternity ward and we asked to sit in the waiting room for a few minutes, while they verified who we were and made sure we were allowed to be there.  A little over an hour later we walked into her room.  She was holding the baby feeding him.  Within seconds, she was handing him to us.  He was the sweetest little thing.  I could barely believe how perfect he was.

We spent the spent the rest of the day holding him and talking with his mom and grandma.  We enjoyed the time we had with them.  When his mom needed to rest, Emery and I were given a private room to spend more time with Langdon.  This hospital was by far the best hospital we have been to in all three of our adoption experiences.

The next day was the most stressful, signing day.  We went to the hospital early, just to wait in the waiting room.  The attorney called and said they were on their way.  When they arrived, she explained the paperwork would take about 45 minute to an hour and then she would be out to have us sign a few papers.  We sat there in silence, waiting yet again.  About 15 minutes after they started the lawyer came out and said mom needed to take a break.  A few minutes later her step-mom came out to get the lawyers.  I couldn't tell by her face if they were going back in to be told she couldn't sign the papers or if they were going back in to continue.  She could sense my concern and looked at me and said "It's all ok.  Everything is still happening, she just needed a minute."  What a relief to hear that.  We waited another 45 minutes.  Then a discharge nurse came to get us to go over discharge information.  This was the point at which I got excited.  WE were being told discharge info.  WE were being told how to care for this bundle when we left the hospital.  I turned to Emery and said " NOW can we send a picture to our parents?"  What was his response?  "We are not walking out of this hospital yet, he is not even in our arms." 

Sooooooooo  about 30 minutes later we are walking out of the hospital with Langdon.  PHEW!  What a whirlwind it has been.  Now we have been home for 4 days and things are going very well.  He is 2 weeks old and already a whopping 7 pounds, 9 ounces.  The kids does nothing but eat and sleep.  He knows he has to catch up to his big bros.  His big bros, by the way, are ecstatic and will not leave his side most of the time.  They can not show him or tell him enough how much they love him.  It's a beautiful thing. 

That's us now, the Skolfield's ......family of 5.

Newest situation....

As you know, a little over a week ago we had a disrupted adoption. The day after that happened our agency told us of a POSSIBLE situation that was coming up. She was due very soon, so if it was something to work out, it would move very quickly.

Well Monday night we received an email with information about a birth mother. 

Tuesday afternoon we got a call that he was born. Whirlwind!

Ran upstairs, started packing, talked to emery to tell him to come home, tried to book a flight for me, packed some more, and ran around the house in circles at times. Went to pick up Isaiah at school and it forced me to slow down.  As soon as emery came home we packed up the car and started driving north. 

We arrived at my parents house in Raleigh, NC at 2:30 in the morning. Slept for an hour and a half and then hit the road again to Richmond. 

We arrived at te hospital at 8:30, and sat in a waiting room until almost 10. Finally we were able to meet mom and baby. We spent several hours with them and even a short time in a private room with the baby, while mom rested.  

We left for a short time for lunch and returned for more visiting and bonding. 

Eventually we needed to leave and check into our hotel and get some sleep. A huge snow storm had started and we wanted to be ahead of the worst. We were both asleep by 8pm. What a day!!

Now I am back in the same waiting room I was in yesterday. The baby is resting and so is mom. The lawyer will be by sometime today to have papers signed. Our agency was  trying to get it done yesterday but with all the snow they didn't want to work late.

So now we wait some more...

That's the journey. A lot of waiting. And prayers!!

The hard part..

I have been staring at this screen for a while now, trying to find the words to express what happened today. This is one of those hard days that can happen during the adoption journey. You pray it doesn't happen, but it does quite often.  Our birth mother gave birth today.....and then decided she was going to parent.

I received this call early this evening from our agency in Arizona. I could tell within seconds of answering this was not going to be the happy call I was expecting. Almost 8 years ago, this same woman called me to tell me Isaiah had been born. I remember that call like it was yesterday. The joy in her voice and the words she used "YOUR son was born this morning!"  The best feeling in the world.

Today her voice was not excited and her words were not the same.  I can not imagine what it is like for her to make these phone calls. 

My first thoughts were that I was glad we didn't travel all the way up to Illinois and turn around and come home with no baby. It's better this way, I said.  Easier.  

Although I am not sure easy is the word to use.  

I called Emery to tell him and immediately broke down crying. I am not sure what to compare this to, but it's a loss. I had spent the past few weeks preparing for him. I tried to tell myself I wasn't going to over-do it, just in case it didn't work out, but I still prepared. I bought a car seat, borrowed some newborn clothes from a friend, bought a tiny jacket, a couple onsies, diapers, a car seat cover and a diaper bag.  All essentials to bring this bundle home.  

I am fully aware that God has a divine plan for our family. He has the perfect baby already picked out for us. And when the time comes he will send him or her to us. I know all of this in my heart and my mind, but I am still sad. 

Pray for us. Pray for the wonderful woman who made this phone call today (because you know she has to do this more than she'd like). Pray for the baby boy whose life has just begun. Pray for his brave momma who made the best decision she could make. Pray for the child God has in store for us.

Waiting, waiting, waiting

So just a quick update.....

In the last couple days I have filled out a bunch of paperwork, collected even more papers, copied them and overnighted them to our agency.  Oh and wired them some money:)

The birth mom was having some contractions over the weekend, so we are in the "any day now" window I would imagine. 

Today I need to contact the local agency in Illinois, which will be handling the legal stuff there with us.  I am sure more paperwork will be sent out today.

Over the past few days we have been working out who will take our children when we get the call.  We brought Isaiah with us when we got Xavier.  We would love nothing more than to bring them with us again, but it is quite expensive for a last minute one way ticket X 4.  And we do not want Isaiah to miss too much school, now that he is in a grade that counts!  Lots to iron out.

I bought a car seat the other day and put the pack and play together with all its pieces to make it an infant crib.  I had to make sure I remembered how to do it!

Needless to say, my stomach is in knots.  How are yours? :)

Crazy 24 hours...

Short, but to the point.

Well, I have not had a chance to update the blog because yesterday I was  not feeling very well and went to sleep early.  So much has happened.

We received and email that we were not picked for the baby due in March.  In the same email, we were asked if we would consider a boy that is due the first week in February.

I, again, spoke to Emery over lunch and he confirmed how he feels about the gender of the baby.  And talked to me about how if it is really important to have a girl, I just  needed to be patient.

I took the rest of the day to think and pray about this.  Yes, girls have fun cute clothes and accessories, but boys are pretty cool too, with all the sports and Jordan sneakers:-)  Ultimately my thinking is, it's exciting to have a baby, no matter what the gender.  I sent out the email with our profile to be presented.

Today I received an email saying we were picked.  So the Skolfield's could soon be a family of 5 in a little over 2 weeks. Wow.  In shock......

Situation #1

As I explained before, we receive email blasts with situations that are available in the agency.  Yesterday the question of how we felt about a 3rd boy, really had me thinking.  Today I went back through all my old email blasts, which had been deleted.  Most of them were not situations that we wanted to consider.....whether it was a boy or a Caucasian girl or any other mix of ethnicity. 

Then one stuck out.  Ethnicity :AA  Gender: Unknown.  It had been sent January 2nd, so there was a real possibility this mom had been presented with families and possibly had chosen one.  I asked Emery if he thought we should have our profile presented.  He answered with a typical Emery response, he is happy with either gender but if I wanted a girl I needed to be patient.  And of course he is always right:)

Of course it got me thinking, are we really meant to have a girl?  Is this just MY plan for our life?  Am I being stubborn and not letting His will be done?  Even though, I fully know it will be done whether I help it along or not!! 

So the question remains....do we have our profile presented?  Why, yes we do.  If it is not a girl, we won't get chosen.  If we do get chosen and it is a boy, well then that is what is meant for our family.  This was our decision.

This is the part of the process that people usually do not share, because there are still so many steps left.  Why not just wait until the baby is in your arms to share; but that is not the point of this blog.  This is to document every step of the way, no matter how hard it is sometimes to share the details.  I wish I had done this with the first 2.  I remember the process, but do not have a record of our emotions throughout, like I do now.

What is next you ask?  Our profile will be shown to the birth mother.  Then she has to make a decision as to who she would like to give the greatest gift anyone could ever be given.  What do we do now?  Wait. 

Are you as anxious as I am??

I have to admit, I am not extremely anxious.  I have been doing well, just living life and not thinking to much about all of it. It's out of my hands now, so there is not much to think about.....until now.

So it's only been a couple months, so no reason for me to be going crazy yet. I receive email blasts from the one agency with situations and none of them have been what we want, so we do not respond. There was a girl who had already been born and they needed the family to fly out the following morning for a court date.  This would have been great, if I wasn't flying to Chile two days later.  This was not good timing for us, so we didn't ask to be considered. That was the only situation we had been presented with that was a girl. So on we wait.

Today, I get a message from one of the agency's saying "how do you feel about a third boy?"  What? You may have thought the same thing I did.  Apparently they have 2 boys they need to match.  I never responded to the email blast because they weren't girls.  And now all of a sudden I am considering this.

Am I considering this because I don't want to pass up and opportunity?  Do I really want another boy? Will I regret giving up on my little girl? Does God want me to be a mother of all boys or does he really want me to have a girl one day?  Do I just want to be the one who makes sure one of these little guys has a home to go to?

My favorite question comes from my mom.......  Is this a test to see how patient you can be??

Who has the answer for me? I'd appreciate the answer if you have it.  However, I know you don't have it.  Only one knows this one.

Which is why I pray.  Without prayer, I would be lost. It's not for me to decide.  We will pray about it and I am sure we will be led to the path we are supposed to take.

And so the roller coaster continues.......