Waiting, waiting, waiting

So just a quick update.....

In the last couple days I have filled out a bunch of paperwork, collected even more papers, copied them and overnighted them to our agency.  Oh and wired them some money:)

The birth mom was having some contractions over the weekend, so we are in the "any day now" window I would imagine. 

Today I need to contact the local agency in Illinois, which will be handling the legal stuff there with us.  I am sure more paperwork will be sent out today.

Over the past few days we have been working out who will take our children when we get the call.  We brought Isaiah with us when we got Xavier.  We would love nothing more than to bring them with us again, but it is quite expensive for a last minute one way ticket X 4.  And we do not want Isaiah to miss too much school, now that he is in a grade that counts!  Lots to iron out.

I bought a car seat the other day and put the pack and play together with all its pieces to make it an infant crib.  I had to make sure I remembered how to do it!

Needless to say, my stomach is in knots.  How are yours? :)

Crazy 24 hours...

Short, but to the point.

Well, I have not had a chance to update the blog because yesterday I was  not feeling very well and went to sleep early.  So much has happened.

We received and email that we were not picked for the baby due in March.  In the same email, we were asked if we would consider a boy that is due the first week in February.

I, again, spoke to Emery over lunch and he confirmed how he feels about the gender of the baby.  And talked to me about how if it is really important to have a girl, I just  needed to be patient.

I took the rest of the day to think and pray about this.  Yes, girls have fun cute clothes and accessories, but boys are pretty cool too, with all the sports and Jordan sneakers:-)  Ultimately my thinking is, it's exciting to have a baby, no matter what the gender.  I sent out the email with our profile to be presented.

Today I received an email saying we were picked.  So the Skolfield's could soon be a family of 5 in a little over 2 weeks. Wow.  In shock......

Situation #1

As I explained before, we receive email blasts with situations that are available in the agency.  Yesterday the question of how we felt about a 3rd boy, really had me thinking.  Today I went back through all my old email blasts, which had been deleted.  Most of them were not situations that we wanted to consider.....whether it was a boy or a Caucasian girl or any other mix of ethnicity. 

Then one stuck out.  Ethnicity :AA  Gender: Unknown.  It had been sent January 2nd, so there was a real possibility this mom had been presented with families and possibly had chosen one.  I asked Emery if he thought we should have our profile presented.  He answered with a typical Emery response, he is happy with either gender but if I wanted a girl I needed to be patient.  And of course he is always right:)

Of course it got me thinking, are we really meant to have a girl?  Is this just MY plan for our life?  Am I being stubborn and not letting His will be done?  Even though, I fully know it will be done whether I help it along or not!! 

So the question remains....do we have our profile presented?  Why, yes we do.  If it is not a girl, we won't get chosen.  If we do get chosen and it is a boy, well then that is what is meant for our family.  This was our decision.

This is the part of the process that people usually do not share, because there are still so many steps left.  Why not just wait until the baby is in your arms to share; but that is not the point of this blog.  This is to document every step of the way, no matter how hard it is sometimes to share the details.  I wish I had done this with the first 2.  I remember the process, but do not have a record of our emotions throughout, like I do now.

What is next you ask?  Our profile will be shown to the birth mother.  Then she has to make a decision as to who she would like to give the greatest gift anyone could ever be given.  What do we do now?  Wait. 

Are you as anxious as I am??

I have to admit, I am not extremely anxious.  I have been doing well, just living life and not thinking to much about all of it. It's out of my hands now, so there is not much to think about.....until now.

So it's only been a couple months, so no reason for me to be going crazy yet. I receive email blasts from the one agency with situations and none of them have been what we want, so we do not respond. There was a girl who had already been born and they needed the family to fly out the following morning for a court date.  This would have been great, if I wasn't flying to Chile two days later.  This was not good timing for us, so we didn't ask to be considered. That was the only situation we had been presented with that was a girl. So on we wait.

Today, I get a message from one of the agency's saying "how do you feel about a third boy?"  What? You may have thought the same thing I did.  Apparently they have 2 boys they need to match.  I never responded to the email blast because they weren't girls.  And now all of a sudden I am considering this.

Am I considering this because I don't want to pass up and opportunity?  Do I really want another boy? Will I regret giving up on my little girl? Does God want me to be a mother of all boys or does he really want me to have a girl one day?  Do I just want to be the one who makes sure one of these little guys has a home to go to?

My favorite question comes from my mom.......  Is this a test to see how patient you can be??

Who has the answer for me? I'd appreciate the answer if you have it.  However, I know you don't have it.  Only one knows this one.

Which is why I pray.  Without prayer, I would be lost. It's not for me to decide.  We will pray about it and I am sure we will be led to the path we are supposed to take.

And so the roller coaster continues.......