Are you as anxious as I am??

I have to admit, I am not extremely anxious.  I have been doing well, just living life and not thinking to much about all of it. It's out of my hands now, so there is not much to think about.....until now.

So it's only been a couple months, so no reason for me to be going crazy yet. I receive email blasts from the one agency with situations and none of them have been what we want, so we do not respond. There was a girl who had already been born and they needed the family to fly out the following morning for a court date.  This would have been great, if I wasn't flying to Chile two days later.  This was not good timing for us, so we didn't ask to be considered. That was the only situation we had been presented with that was a girl. So on we wait.

Today, I get a message from one of the agency's saying "how do you feel about a third boy?"  What? You may have thought the same thing I did.  Apparently they have 2 boys they need to match.  I never responded to the email blast because they weren't girls.  And now all of a sudden I am considering this.

Am I considering this because I don't want to pass up and opportunity?  Do I really want another boy? Will I regret giving up on my little girl? Does God want me to be a mother of all boys or does he really want me to have a girl one day?  Do I just want to be the one who makes sure one of these little guys has a home to go to?

My favorite question comes from my mom.......  Is this a test to see how patient you can be??

Who has the answer for me? I'd appreciate the answer if you have it.  However, I know you don't have it.  Only one knows this one.

Which is why I pray.  Without prayer, I would be lost. It's not for me to decide.  We will pray about it and I am sure we will be led to the path we are supposed to take.

And so the roller coaster continues.......