Situation #1

As I explained before, we receive email blasts with situations that are available in the agency.  Yesterday the question of how we felt about a 3rd boy, really had me thinking.  Today I went back through all my old email blasts, which had been deleted.  Most of them were not situations that we wanted to consider.....whether it was a boy or a Caucasian girl or any other mix of ethnicity. 

Then one stuck out.  Ethnicity :AA  Gender: Unknown.  It had been sent January 2nd, so there was a real possibility this mom had been presented with families and possibly had chosen one.  I asked Emery if he thought we should have our profile presented.  He answered with a typical Emery response, he is happy with either gender but if I wanted a girl I needed to be patient.  And of course he is always right:)

Of course it got me thinking, are we really meant to have a girl?  Is this just MY plan for our life?  Am I being stubborn and not letting His will be done?  Even though, I fully know it will be done whether I help it along or not!! 

So the question remains....do we have our profile presented?  Why, yes we do.  If it is not a girl, we won't get chosen.  If we do get chosen and it is a boy, well then that is what is meant for our family.  This was our decision.

This is the part of the process that people usually do not share, because there are still so many steps left.  Why not just wait until the baby is in your arms to share; but that is not the point of this blog.  This is to document every step of the way, no matter how hard it is sometimes to share the details.  I wish I had done this with the first 2.  I remember the process, but do not have a record of our emotions throughout, like I do now.

What is next you ask?  Our profile will be shown to the birth mother.  Then she has to make a decision as to who she would like to give the greatest gift anyone could ever be given.  What do we do now?  Wait. 

Are you as anxious as I am??

I have to admit, I am not extremely anxious.  I have been doing well, just living life and not thinking to much about all of it. It's out of my hands now, so there is not much to think about.....until now.

So it's only been a couple months, so no reason for me to be going crazy yet. I receive email blasts from the one agency with situations and none of them have been what we want, so we do not respond. There was a girl who had already been born and they needed the family to fly out the following morning for a court date.  This would have been great, if I wasn't flying to Chile two days later.  This was not good timing for us, so we didn't ask to be considered. That was the only situation we had been presented with that was a girl. So on we wait.

Today, I get a message from one of the agency's saying "how do you feel about a third boy?"  What? You may have thought the same thing I did.  Apparently they have 2 boys they need to match.  I never responded to the email blast because they weren't girls.  And now all of a sudden I am considering this.

Am I considering this because I don't want to pass up and opportunity?  Do I really want another boy? Will I regret giving up on my little girl? Does God want me to be a mother of all boys or does he really want me to have a girl one day?  Do I just want to be the one who makes sure one of these little guys has a home to go to?

My favorite question comes from my mom.......  Is this a test to see how patient you can be??

Who has the answer for me? I'd appreciate the answer if you have it.  However, I know you don't have it.  Only one knows this one.

Which is why I pray.  Without prayer, I would be lost. It's not for me to decide.  We will pray about it and I am sure we will be led to the path we are supposed to take.

And so the roller coaster continues.......

One month......

Well it's been a month since we were official, and now we are officially on another agency wait list. Mother Goose Adoptions/Creating Christian Families, which is the agency we got Isaiah through. We applied to the two to have our name out there as much as we can. The two agencies we picked have a minimal charge up front to hold profiles and present you, so why not right? This agency does things a little different then the first. Our first agency will present you to birth families that match your criteria and they don't tell you. You will find out only if you are picked. This 2nd agency only presents you if you request it.  They send email blasts out letting you know about situations they have available and if it is one you are interested in you let them know. I have gotten probably 3-4 emails so far but none of them were for African American girls:)

With this being the process, you may hear more about possibilities when they arise. The other agency we won't hear from at all, so it's more of just waiting blindly.

Well this was a short update, but I felt like writing something!! Today we are off to meet Xavier's birth mom and sister for lunch. This is a new adventure for us:-) Isaiah is a bit sensitive about it, but after a good talk with him he seems to be ok with it. He's such a great big brother!!!

Have a Merry Christmas!!!  See you in the New Year!!

We are OFFICIAL!

This is part of a note we received today:

Dear Emery & Cristy,

 

               Thank you so much for your interest in our agency. We have received your application and supporting documents and are pleased to add you to our adoption program. We look forward to assisting you on your adoption journey and hope to make your experience as positive as possible.

 

WOOHOO!!  Ya'll, that means we are officially waiting for a birth mom to choose us.  Our home study is complete and application has been accepted by the agency.  A very nice lady came out to visit us a little over a week ago to check in with us.  She asked about anything that may have changed since our last adoption, spoke to the boys briefly and took a tour of our home.  About a week later we received a draft of our home study to review.  We immediately approved it and a few days later the agency signed off on it. 

 

We sent in our scrapbook, to be reviewed.  We were given a few instructions on how to make it better.  It was sent back in a few days later and that was approved as well.  Apparently I am unable to attach a PDF file to this blog, so I can not post it.  I will figure out a way to post it some day! 

 

I packaged these hard copies up a few days ago and sent them in as well.  The agency keeps a digital copy and hard copies on file.  These scrapbooks are used to show birth mothers when there are families who meet their criteria in a family they would like for their child.

 

Tonight I packaged up an application to send to another agency.  It is the agency who got Isaiah placed with us.  The agency who completed our home study is the agency Xavier was placed through. We have enjoyed working with both agencies in the past, so why mess up a good thing!  We are so very excited about the latest news. 

 

So, now we wait.  We wait to be chosen.  This is where all my emotional posts start.....the anxious, impatient posts.  This is the hard part.

 

Thanks for all the prayers and support!  We truly appreciate it.

 

Happy Halloween!

Wow, it is amazing to me how many of you are keeping track of our progress on this adoption journey, not to mention how excited you all are.  A few of you have even mistakenly taken a TBT post by Emery the wrong way.  He posted a picture of Isaiah, Xavier and I from when we got Xavier and I had several texts that day congratulating us on the new little one.  Took me by surprise:)  Anyway, no we do not have a new baby.  To clarify, our home study is not complete yet, therefore we are not even on the list to get a baby yet. That is the purpose of this post.......

We are almost there, people....almost have our name on the list.  We have one more step in the home study process left.  THE VISIT.... dum dum dum.  It's not really that bad, actually.  Someone will come out to our house and chat with us about our lives, probably even talk to the kids about what awesome parents we are.....now I have to worry about what they will say:-)!  KIDDING!  We are on the schedule for that visit.  A very nice lady will come out next Wednesday evening.  After that, our home study, should be complete and approved!  Then the real wait begins.....

Last night we filled out an adoption application.  This form is to officially request to be on the waiting list.  This is where we also choose gender, race, whether we would accept any drug exposure, or if we are willing to accept any kind of health issues etc.  It is very specific and there is a lot of research that needs to be done to be fully able to answer the questions.  Luckily, we have been through this in the past and we filled it out pretty similar to how we have in the past.  With one minor difference........the box next to female was checked!  As you already know, this time we are requesting a girl. 

I guess that is all for now.  Visit from social worker Wednesday and get our application into the agency....probably 2 agencies.  Those are the next steps.  And just to clarify and avoid any future misunderstandings, we will be very specific in our posts.  That is my goal with this blog, a step by step account of this journey.  I would never skip to ....here's the baby.  There will be many phases between now and then.

In honor of Halloween and TBT.....

Pictures, pictures and more pictures

So as I stated in my last post, I have been busy making our profile.  The profile is a small scrapbook of your family.  It is what the agencies show to birth mothers, so they can make a decision as to who they want to place their child with.  I can not even begin to imagine what it must be like to make a decision like that.  The courage it takes, is more than I have, that's for sure.  It's easy for us.  A birth mother chooses our family, we gain yet another blessing and get to pour our love on them.  The birth mother, however, places a child in our arms and goes home. They make this decision looking at pictures of families and possibly speaking with them on the phone a few times.  Can any of you imagine doing that? I am humbled by these women who make the ultimate sacrifice for their child......and for our family.  If it were not for women who make the decision to place their child for adoption, our home would be childless.  I am forever grateful for the 2 women God has put in our lives to help us build our family. 

This post sort of took a turn of sorts.  Started with me mentioning making our profile......  Our profile is complete.  I sat down at my scrap booking table a few days ago to begin.  I got as far as cutting all my paper into the correct size.  I then got distracted and went online to look at other families profiles.  It was then I realized, I needed to be doing this digitally.  Funny right? I was making it by hand and then went to look at others online.  Should have realized earlier I could do it online!  Then I began searching programs to help me make it.  This turned into hours of research on how to do it digitally.  I fell asleep at my computer working on it. 

The next day, after finding a program, I sat down, yet again, to make our scrapbook.  Hours later I completed a draft.  I made 2 different books.  The first one was practice.  I made the whole book, then went to the print options and realized I could only print in one size, and of course, this size was too big.  So, back to the drawing board to find a template that would print smaller.

After completing the draft, Emery checked it and we made a few corrections.  We now have a finished product.  I am going to share some of it with you.  This is not the whole book, but it is a majority of it. There will be a few more pages inserted within this version.  Maybe after I get the whole thing scanned as a PDF file, I will attach it to a post.  For now this is all you get:) Click the link below to have a sneak peak!

Skolfield Family Profile

And the anxiety begins...

I am sitting in the car line at Isaiah's school, so this will be a short post. I said I was going to make you all ride the ride with me right? Well then it's only fair that I share my feelings right now. I sent the paperwork one week ago. All our references have given their recommendations. So now we sit and wait. Wait for the next steps. How Lon you ask? If I knew I wouldn't feel anxious. 😉 this is where things get rough for me. I like being in control, and I am not. Ultimately God is in control of this situation. I have done all I am supposed to do. The agency will let us know when there is a next step. And it's only been a week since I put it in the mail......I have serious problems getting anxious to hear from them already! Ha!

So to help ease my mind and feel like I am taking steps in the right direction, I will start to work on our profile. I need to pick out pictures and make a small scrapbook, which is shown to birthmoms (when we are at that stage!). So that's what I will do....I will have it done so when they tell us they need them, I will be ahead of the game. 

That is all for now....y'all will really get to know how crazy I am through all this.

At least I was distracted a few days with a mini-vacation. Here we are on a bluff overlooking the Mississippi River.